Christmas 2008

With so many in a family-Christmas isn`t just a 24 hour event.  This year it began on December 20 when 11 of us ventured to Cowtown-Ft. Worth.  Some spent the night with Josh and some with Anna.  Christina entertained her houseful with BarBQ and Anna had pizza.  Sunday 19 of us drove 45 minutes to Grapevine`s Great Wolf Lodge with huge indoor waterpark.  We enjoyed the waterpark, arcade, buffet, visit with Santa, bedtime story with lifesize animated characters, and back to our room where everyone brought their room`s chair for gift exchange and cookie decorating.  I`m afraid the maid had to pick up more trash in our room than usual but we did leave some of the decorated cookies.  The kids spilled out in the hall with remote control cars and other toys.  Fortunately there wasn`t alot of traffic in the halls.  The next morning was again spent in the water.  Papa Bill even tried the approximately 3 story winding water slide.  The only casualities were Baby Jett 4 months old got water dumped on his head from a tipping bucket on the lazy river, Andrew 18 months did not like the frowning animated tree in the lobby, and Josh on crutches from foot surgery got his bandages wet.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve when 12 (even years are special because Sarah`s kids are able to join us for evening Mass) joined us for midnight Mass at 5:00 p.m.  Father Mickus is afraid too many will have too much Christmas cheer by midnight.  I think it`s because he flys home to Chicago Christmas morning.  Angie`s family ate pizza with us afterward.  The following 2 days were very untraditional with chicken fried steak, a perpetual open house and 70 degree weather. 

Altho Nate was not here we are pleased he arrived safely home from Iraq to N.C. about a week ago.                         

Big Bad Mike

Mike is my baby brother 10 my Jr.  He was a thin baby that spit up alot of his milk after a full bottle.  He eventually grew to over 6 foot and 350 pounds altho in recent years his weight has pared down considerably.  I`m writing this because after many years of torment and long hateful accusing letters I received one with little hate spewed.  I beg to differ on some of his family memories but I must say most of the 3 pages of notebook paper were filled with happier things.  He sent a Christmas card from "Boy`s Ranch"  founded in 1939.  He noted that was the year Mother and Daddy were married.  He wrote his memory of May 31, 1974 (the day of Daddy`s accident) and noted Mother was the one whose life changed the most.  I quote from his letter "the true test fell in our Dear Mother`s Hands.  She gave it her best.  But the true Secret about that date.  Add the digits.  They tally to 2005-the year she was set free to rest.  Great set of Parents......."  Bill remarked wish he could have said it to her face.

Now Big Bad Mike (many of the children actually feared him) is spending time in prayer ( he quoted many phrases from Bernard`s prayer book), trying to figure his next move, and pondering what life would have been like had they stayed on the farm.  Is he changed?  Maybe not but but hopefully it`s a start.

No Sisters I`m still not ready to move him in with me!

Election 2008

As we made history this week by electing the first African American President, I`m thinking back to family voting history.  I don`t know any of the Davis or Short leanings but speculate it was Democrat for that is traditionally the working man`s party.  The Balks were probably also Democrat because Bernard must have inherited that fierce loyality to that party from somewhere.  He voted straight ticket always.  It did not matter if his own relative was running. This happened when a cousin-in-law who was Republican ran and won a seat in the Oklahoma House of Representives without Bernard`s vote.  I know they took the privilege of voting very seriously for we did not venture out often during the week except on Election Day.  We trekked some 7-8 miles across country to a little church named Haskew.  Bernard would call a trusted friend outside at the poll to make sure he understood all questions on the ballot.

 

I witnessed history in the 60`s when John F. Kennedy ran for President.  Being the only Catholic family in our Freedom Public School I was tormented with such things as if he is elected we`ll all have to eat fish on Fridays and if elected the Pope will run the country.  Of course those things did not happen.

Further back I know my Grandma Phillips as a woman could not vote until about age 40.  According to Great Uncle Charley Phillips` grandson, T. J. Russell, Grandpa Phillips a Repulican settled in Oklahoma in an area of Democratic relatives.  He was used to adversity tho-the Phillips in northwest Arkansas were a Confederate family living among mostly Union neighbors.  Reportedly they kept to themselves back in a "holler ".  I`m pretty sure Grandpa and my Dad didn`t discuss politics much.

Bernard`s party won this year.  Obama is a charismatic, good looking (according to Kenzie) young man hopefully he does a good job in spite of lack of experienece.  

 

 

 

 

 

Further back I know my Grandma

Family Health Histories

With such a large family, I had 14 biological aunts and uncles and Bill had 21 I can`t know what all the health problems were but will relate the ones I remember.  I know heart disease is on both sides and alcoholism does seem to be a problem.  The Balks are all hard of hearing.  Mother had severe osteoporosis.  One Davis died as an infant and one died at age 5 in the influenza epidemic.  She reportedly was a smart child and ministered to sick relatives by bringing them lemons etc.  One Short died as an infant.  One Phillips and one Balk had mild forms of epilepsy.  Aunt Loretta`s was brought on by an injury she suffered as a toddler trying to escape an onery calf.  One Phillips died of cirrhosis of the liver.  One Phillips aunt suffered from emphysema tho she never smoked a day in her life.  Not sure if husband did probably because most men did at that time.  Most on both sides lived to ripe old age of 80 tho my grandfathers died of massive heart attacks at age 65-70.  Grandma Davis was diagnosed with as Aunt Nell called it cancer of the female organs at age 55-60.  She recovered and deemed it a miracle tho she was not overly religious and lived to age 96.

  Some others in the famiy had some form of cancer.  Bud Davis died at age 34 with goiter and throat cancer.  Grandma Pearl knew he wouldn`t live long because he was born with a veil over his head, part of the placenta covered his head as he was born and according to old wive`s  tale that was not good.  Granny Fannie died in her 60`s with a stomach problem that she was scared to go to Dr. for-maybe uterine cancer.  Bernard Balk died after fighting throat and mouth cancer.  He had a tumor under his tongue in his 50`s and quit smoking cold turkey then in his late 70`s he was diagnosed with a tumor around the esophagus and refused any extra treatment.  Juanita Balk died of pancreatic cancer in her 80`s at that point she announced that is what her mother May Phillips died of.  We didn`t dream that.  No one talked about it.  A Phillips first cousin, Leon Harman, died of brain tumor leaving a couple young sons.  Uncle Leo Balk died of brain tumor at a young age.  Aunt Johnnie Belle Davis Cook died of a form of stomach cancer in her 50`s.

Why did I choose to write about this?  It may give insight into family health issues and I was recently diagnosed with uterine cancer after only very subtle problems.  Warning girls-the Pap Smear does not detect uterine cancer.  The good news it was contained and will not require any radiation.  Aren`t I glad I purchased that cancer policy 10 years ago over Bill`s objection?  Don`t worry be happy!

Picking Apples

This story was related to me in the early 2000`s by a fiesty 80 something year old wife of Bernard`s cousin Michael Felber named Edith.

Edith told of how in the early days of their marriage,  Aunt Chris (Edith`s mother-in-law) was raving to Grandma Millie about the quality of apples in a nearby orchid.  She referred to them as  Uncle Joe and Aunt Millie.  Anyway Joe and Millie decided to get some for themselves so off they went in their Model T.  The car became stuck in a sandhill on the way.  Millie jumped out to push the car out which she was able to do and the car went on it`s way.  At the orchid Joe stopped and looked around for Millie.  He looked back to see her running "mad as a wet hen" toward him.  He had forgotten to pick her up.

On the same topic Aunt Ramonda told of how they preserved apples by drying slices on racks out by the chicken coop.  One warm Sat. her job as a youngster was to clean house.  She cleaned awhile, go out and sample drying apples, and get a tall cool drink.  She repeated the steps several times during the day.  The apples tasted so good.  You can imagine what the water did to all those dried apples.  She said her belly swelled up and she was very constipated.  I doubt Grandma Millie was aware of what she had done all day.

The kids took advantage of their parent`s trips to town for groceries.  Uncle Ernie told of how they would make fudge as soon as they left.  His job as the youngest was to make sure their folk`s car was out of sight so they could make a plate of fudge, eat the whole batch, and clean up.  Then Ernie watched to make sure the car was not returning too soon.  He said Millie never suspected.  I think kids have not changed a whole lot in the past 100 years.

Truly a Self Made Man

Bill and I had the pleasure of meeting and in his case becoming reaquainted with his nearly 80 year old 1st cousin once removed, Wesley Baker Davis this summer in Lubbock, Texas.  Wesley`s dad Doc (William Wilburn Davis) and Bill`s Grandpa Nat (Charles Nathanial Davis) were brothers.  Doc was a Jr. so his nickname was derived because as a child he treated peers for pretend illnesses with rabbit pellets.

Wesley was one of six siblings born to Doc and 1st wife Pearl Harmon.  She died when Wesley was young.  Doc then married May.  That`s when "All hell broke out." according to Wesley.  She bore 13 children 9 of whom (7 men and 2 women) commited suicide.  Two jumped off the rim of The Grand Canyon.  About 1942 when Wesley was  13 and younger brother Roy Lee or Tinker was 11 the parents left them in the cotton field near Matador.  His dad offered him a bus ticket to Amarillo.  He declined saying he could get there faster by Hitch hiking so he hitched to Amarillo, got a room in a hotel and sold newspapers to live.  In spite of all he had a good relationship with his dad.  Step mother was another story.

Wesley was able to give some insight into the lives of other family members.  He knew Great Grandma Mary Davis.  She was a fullblood Choctaw Indian.  Great Grandpa William Wilburn Davis was embarrassed of her heritage so she was never allowed to go to town.  She had sore gums and jaws and would wail in pain.  She had no teeth.  She would sit by the fireplace and smoke a pipe.  I remember Pearl saying in later years she lived in a tent in her and Nat`s yard.  Their house had burnt.  His memory of Bud and Fannie was Bud was in CCC camp a couple years before they married.  He remembered seeing Fannie only a few times.  Wesley`s biological mother Pearl and Great Uncle John`s wife Noah were sisters.  Wesley was the one to get John and Nat and their families to move from east Texas to west Texas.  They settled near White Flat and made their living pulling bolls for 4 or 5 years 1st for a Charley Harris and others later.  When asked about Nat`s illegal whiskey business,  with a twinkle in his eye he told me he always sold it.  Once when the sheriff came around to search the house Nat told him look all he wanted.  Nat sat on the porch with feet propped up on a large round footstool.  The sheriff opened every closet and cabinet, found nothing and left.  The next visitor was a customer that purchased whiskey from that very footstool.  Wesley thinks Tinker`s wife had him killed June 5, 2005.  At his funeral he observed wife giving a fellow a roll of $100 bills. He said you don`t have to do this now.  She replied "I told you I would pay when it is done."

One of the interesting recent stories was widower Wesley a couple of months ago eloped with his dancing club friend Rita.  The couple dressed in blue jeans went to the local courthouse for their nuptuals.  His oldest daughter hasn`t spoken to him since.  They live in a new but very ordinary house for a man that is a billionaire and knew Sam Walton personally.  No Rita is not a gold digger.  His money is all tied up in trusts for his kids.  To make his fortune it seems years ago on the advice of his father-in-law he bought a couple parcels of land in the Houston area and in recent years offered the land to some California doctors for an ungodly amount of money and they bought.  I would say that is the rest of the story for a self made Davis relative.

Cousin Robert Stokes and Bananas

One of my older Balk cousins related this story recently.  He is one of the few who can remember Grandpa Joseph Balk.

At that time bananas were sold not by the bunch but by the stalk.  One day as he and Grandma were headed to town to buy groceries,  he told Robert do not eat any bananas while we`re gone because Grandma needs them for something.  Robert being a onery kid helped himself to a few bananas.  When the grandparents returned  not much was said about bananas,  Grandpa told all within hearing that someone told him poison was put in the bananas and anyone eating them would kill over dead.  Robert spent the next several hours getting sicker and sicker.  Of course it was all a made up tale and it was Robert`s conscience hurting him.  Grandpa made him suffer more that way than whipping him for disobeying.  Ole Joe tho not highly educated had child psychology down to a science.

Learning to Drive

I learned to drive a standard because the folks thought if I could drive a stick shift I could drive anything.  My driving gave Mother gray hair but she was presistant.  I would not be like a couple Balk aunts who never drove because of early mishaps learning to drive.  Dad would not go with me.  I remember once driving over a steep culvert on a turn toward home.  It was on the highway about 3 miles from home for all to see.  Rumors flew that the car was really messed up.  Car and passengers were unhurt and I was taken out that evening for more driving.  Anothe time I remember Mother stomping on my foot and brake going around a sharp curve and over a hill.  I didn`t react fast enough.  This made them realize I needed glasses.  I remember one time driving the farm truck with many gears to town before school for servicing.  I was a bit embarrassed but saving gas was the name of the game even back then.  I drove 12 miles home alone many nights after school obligations.  I was not afaid even tho for about an 8 mile stretch I passed 1 house and a couple of male classmates swore they had seen lights on Long Creek on that stretch on more than occasion.  I didn`t get my license until about 17 1/2.  I didn`t take the driving part of the test the first time and drove with a permit for a long time.  I think all of the above makes me still not like to drive in traffic particularly if I don`t know where I`m going

I remember Mother relating how she got her license in the mid 1930`s from the court house for 50 cents without any sort of test.  She also told of driving her Dad in a car without a working speed odometer.  If she drove too fast he would say "I know you are speeding look how fast the fence posts are flying by." 

Bill`s early driving was with Grandpa Nat Davis.  He let him drive him to another county to pick up hootch but wouldn`t let him drive home.  Nat would get mad if he brought the keys in after a trip.  That way he always knew where his keys were.  Dad still doesn`t like to bring keys in from his pickup.  Dad was also a little older when he got his license but he drove alone in Matador at 13 and some in Dallas at an early age.  Grandma Pearl Davis never drove.  "Why did she need to learn she always had someone around to drive her?"  She regretted that when everyone was gone from home yet she was still spry enough to drive around little Matador.   

Nine Homes in Ten Years

Our first apartment at 812 1/2 4th St. in Alva was chosen in the spring before we married in August.  We looked at several before deciding on an about 20 square foot furnished basement apartment behind the landlord`s house.  It was $35 a month all bills paid.  Cool in summer but if outside drains got blocked with debries the floor flooded when it rained.  Think that only happened once.  In May I and a girlfriend moved in for summer school.  Dad headed to Lubbock to work.  The apartment was within walking distance of school and my job downtown at T.G. & Y.  After summerschool roomie moved home and the girl upstairs moved down with me for the remainder of the summer.  I made curtains.  It was small but with lots of storage.

Our next place on a $6000 per year teacher`s salary in Lebanon, Nebraska was a square TP looking home.  It had 2 closetless bedrooms.  One bedroom had an addition built on that was at one time used as a beauty salon.  There was one closet in the dining room.  This house too was furnished.  I remember an old fashioned rolltop desk, a reddish pinkish sectional sofa, built in hutch in dining room and stained glass windows across top of living room window.  We did not heat the bedrooms.  The insulation probably was not very good.  We didn`t notice the cold with all 7 of our wedding blankets on our bed.

The second school year we moved across from the H.S. in a 2 story house with basement.  We bought the minimum but new furnishings - gold sofa,  mattress set on frame. chest of drawers,  wood table with 4 chairs, brown refrigerator and washer on time which I promptly paid off with double payments most months.  Nate`s crib after he outgrew the cradle was a garage sale find of Aunt Nell`s.  We used only the downstairs.  The school secretary loaned us a bed when we had company to use upstairs which had a half bath.  Again I made curtains.  A treat for me the house had a big old claw foot tub.  We only had showers up to then.  Our address there was P.O. Box 26 chosen because it was our anniversay date.

The summer between those school sessions was spent back in our original apartment in Alva where Nate was born.  We also lived in the upstairs apartment one summer.   Another  summer when Angie was born we lived in a brick duplex across from Homeland Store.  My grocery bill was the highest that summer.  I could just run across to the store when I got hungry for something.

Our first home in Stroud was on 8th St. in a converted nursing home.  It had new kitchen cabinets, 3 smallish bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and large livingroom which must have been a ward room for it had bedroom type closets across one end.  Again I enjoyed making curtains.  The rent was like $70 and we had to pay utilities.  When we were gone for summer school the landload charged only half rent.  They rented to mostly teachers.

When Angie was 2 we lived in a furnished apartment in Weatherford for the summer with minimun possessions.  That was the last year we had to uproot for the summer.  Thank goodness because Nate was always busy picking neighbor`s green tomatoes and visiting anyone in complex or whatever.  Dad had spent 5 summers in school - 4 for his masters and one to finish up a math degree.

I remember riding around in Stroud one year.  As we drove past 604 S. 1st Ave. I thought houses like that never come up for sale  Little did I know that by the time Angie was 1 we would close on our 1st home at 604 S. 1st Ave.  It was only 2 bedrooms but had lots of nice wood kitchen cabinets, wood paneling in kitchen, attached garage and the latest blue green shag carpeting in livingroom and bedrooms.  This was Sarah, Anna and Josh`s first home.  We assumed the original mortgage and the owners carried a 2nd mortgage for us.  House payments were at most $200 a month.  When Sarah was about 2 we converted the garage to bedroom, bath and a larger dining area with laundry closet across one wall..  That was a mess remodeling with the dust and mess with all the little ones underfoot.  Dad did alot of the work.  I remember wallpapering new bathroom ceiling and walls with yellow paper with tiny white flowers.  Pretty but I was so sore.  I swore I would never do the ceiling of another small room- there was not much room for ladders.  Again we were quite comfortable until Josh came along.  I felt like a rat living in a maze in our 1200 foot house.  We made do for about 2 1/2 years until we decided to bite the bullet and build our present home.

  Looking back - how did we do it - 2 acreas, new 4 bedroom 3 bathroom house with variable interest mortgage that sometimes was over $400?  Answer since daycare on 2 1/2 ( kindergarten was 1/2 days) was more than I could make Dad taught, coached, drove a bus, worked at pool or painting at school in summers and worked at Sonic on Wed. evenings all the while doing as much finish work on the house as he could.  Everyone was disgustingly healthy. ha  We scrimped, wore handmedowns or handmade, cooked at home, cut boys hair, vacationed at Big Granny`s, used school and church things for our entertainment and held off decorating our lovely new space.  Many years care packages of cookies from Big Granny Balk was our Easter treat and bags of candy and fruit from Santa downtown was put up for our Christmas.  The kids all worked from age 16 not to help with household expenses but for spending money and to save for college.  They all took a turn at McDonalds which I think instilled in them an excellent work ethic.  We persevered and proved all things are possible if one wants it bad enough.

Memories on Mother`s Day 2008

I was the type of teenager that everyone wondered how I fit in with my somewhat wild classmates.  Those that packed liquor in their bags for the Sr. trip to Washington D. C. which led the guys to break a TV in a motel room about Memphis.  Most of the 6 girls were pregnant on their wedding day.

I on the other hand had never had a complete physical before I suspected the birth of Nate.  We lived in a tiny town named Lebanon, Nebraska.  The nearest Dr. was 15 to 20 miles away in Cambridge.  I drove over there, circled the Dr. office a couple times and headed home.  I did eventually keep an appointment then we moved to Alva for  summer school.  I gave the Dr. the only  Dr. in Alva I remembered and hand carried my records.  Dr. Stephenson was ancient and got sick before Nate was born.  He did give me great advice on one visit-"Get to the hospital quickly."  I woke up at 12:30AM and Dr. Simon delivered Nate at 2:00 AM.  The hospital was shorthanded and Dad answered the switch board while nurses attended me.  My night nurse was a male named of all things Harry Carry.  He more than once startled me awake in the middle of the night for blood pressure etc.  Nate did not like being in the nursery alone, was born with one ear folded over, and we stayed in the hospital a couple extra days because Dad received his Draft notice and had to plead his case in Plainview, Texas.  We were that close to being an Army family.

When Angie was born we lived in Stroud.  She was due after summer school started so on Sun. May 30 we took an all day ride on bumpy country roads.  She arrived just after midnight on Mon.  She had the most perfect round head.  We headed to Mooreland and eventually Alva the day after I got out of the hospital.  Townspeople thought something was wrong with her we left so quick.  Mother had a bed all made for me to get in when I arrived.  I didn`t go to bed but did stay there a week.

Sarah was born a couple weeks late after I worked at the pool and sat at a baseball game until 8:30.  Clinic hospital was packed and our first room was a bed in a storage room.  She arrived right around shift change at 11:00 PM.  Lots of nurses around but all debating whose job it was as they didn`t pay overtime.  She arrived on Karen`s birthday barely.

Anna arrived during the time Dr. Markert was in trouble for selling prescriptions for diet pills.  Dear ole Dr. Jones was trying to keep the hospital open singlehandedly.  I went to the hospital around midnight after Dad came home from playing basketball with the Harlem Wizards-a knockoff of the Globetrotters.  She was delivered minutes before Dr. arrived at 5:00ish AM. I declared as he came in "you better not charge for this."  He good naturedly replied"I won`t."  The insurance paid and my credit was something like $42.  I was paid to take her home.  Nurse Patsy Hatter told me he never charged if he didn`t make it or the baby was stillborn.

Josh was born after a 6 week wait.  This was before modern ultra sounds so his due date was a guess.  Around March 1 Dr. told me to stay close to town-could be any day.  Dad was a nervous wreck.  He continued his busy schedule of end of the year class trips etc.  One time as the bus went by the hospital a car like ours was there.  He knew I drove myself there.  Little did we know it would be 6 weeks.  I was tired of keeping laundry etc. done up.  Finally on Mon. after Easter I woke up 4:00ish AM, cleaned the kitchen, did a load of laundry and sent Dad to do lesson plans.  When we arrived at the hospital Nurse Tonya Roundtree told all aids to listen to me because I knew what I was doing.  I came out of the delivery room to a smiling Dad and Angie.  She had just gotten out of morning kindergarten.  I had to hurry so I didn`t miss out on the turkey dinner they served at noon.  Josh was huge at 9 pounds 6 1/2 oz. but another boy dwarfed him in the nursery.  We were the talk of the hospital 5 children the oldest still 7.

These are my memories of becoming a proud mother of 5.  The rest of the story will be becoming proud mother-in-law to 5 and Granny to soon-to-be 12 grandchildren.

Aunt Jean Short Allin

My most recent memory of Jean was when we visited her and daughter Debbie and son Jimmie in Bradenton, Florida 2008.  She uses a walker at 78 but her mind is sharp as a tack.  She carries her trusty pistol on her walker when home alone.  Said the neighborhood was declining but it looked fine to me.

Jean was a feisty one from birth.  She was small when born and sister Fannie practically raised her while another sister Mary Lou was sick with whooping cough etc. and needed their mother`s attention.  I understand Mary Lou always had her hands up wanting to be picked up.

At age 16 or 17 during WWII Jean did the patriotic thing and wrote letters to a local soldier overseas.  They were friendly pen pal letters.  His to her were passionate love struck letters.  She laughingly shared them with her mother and Grandma Bryant.  When he came home he invited her to a carnival.  She was excited for the evening out and dressed in her only store bought dress-a white one with red buttons down the front and a monogramed J. on the bodice.  They stopped by a friend`s house first and suddenly the hosts had to leave.  She being naive sat down to wait.  The soldier put the moves on her and she told him Papa would kill her.  He replied "He`ll make me marry you after tonight."  At that point she reached over his shoulder for a bottle of whiskey on the end table.  She reared back and broke the bottle over his head.  He yelled"When you say no you mean no."  She returned home with glass and whiskey all down her front.  She slipped in a side door where her mother took her clothes to soak and sent her up to bed.  Papa was a strict one and never knew of the incident.  Why Papa was strict with his baby daughter will come out later.

The Davises-Balks A Patriotic Bunch

We had several family members serve in various branches of the militery in America`s wars beginning with Private John Hammond Sr. in the Revolutionary War to the present Iraqi War.  Fortunately I do not know of any that did not make it home.   Bill`s Uncle Don Short was a POW during the Korean Conflict.  The family did not know where he was for 2 years.  His mother`s picture during that time showed a face of true sorrow.  Don was held in a camp up in an out of the way forest.  He tried to escape 5 times.  His commrades told on anyone trying to escape in exchange for a blanket or a candy bar.  They were forced to march without medical care.  He was wounded in the heel.  The blood ran out of his boot as he walked.  When they came to a village they were stripped and put in a wire cage.  The local women came by and taunted them.  In response to the question  "Did that bother you?"  He said "Hell no I just strutted."  They carried wounded until they were able to walk or died.  At that point the head of the march always placed the body head down in water.  They passed many like that.  He never understood the reasoning for that.

A young Mexican soldier cultivated the guards until he was able to bathe in a nearby body of water away from the camp.  Finally in the nick of time for they were headed to China within hours,  while he was batheing the young man spotted an American General in a jeep and alerted him he was American and where others were.  He felt they would not have been liberated otherwise.

Don tried to remember funny things and gloss over sadness.  One thing they did was they weren`t allowed to boo so during indoctrination speeches they would cheer and whistle loudly to drown out the speaker.

Let me say Don was a bit of a rebel.  He joined the Navy as a teen probably because times were hard for this large family of 11 children.  He served a year before Grandpa Short got him out.  When he was of age he joined the Army and even after his Korean ordeal he served in Viet Nam.  It was hard for him to shoot women and children there but many were wired with explosives so he just shut his eyes and shot.

These stories make me less sympathetic to all those vets that came home and seem to be reclusive and not accomplish much.  Don and many others survived and led productive lives outside the service.  Don worked tirelessly by writing letters to congressmen after he came home to try to bring home POWS that he knew were force marched into China and never heard from again.  The war dept. denied they were there.  He saw so much death during his captivity he couldn`t bear to go to his own parents funerals a couple decades later.  I remember he came to the church but had to leave.

His younger brother, Charles, wrote a loving tribute to him after his death.  According to family this was very uncharacteristic of him to write such a thing.  It told of the sudden change on their mother`s face when his name came up #5 on the list of those coming home.

These memories were told to me by his sister, Jean Allin.  She was supposed to write a book.  Maybe she still will. 

Billy Wayne

Billy Wayne Davis was born at home January 17, 1946 in Matador, Texas.  His father Buford Coleman made his living as a professional gambler and service station attendant.  He related they went from brand new cars and houses to next to nothing shanties and old cars depending on Bud`s luck.  Bill suffered from diphtheria as a child and his mom, Fannie waited until the last minute to interrupt a card game for his dad to take him to the Dr.  That is why he has a cracked tongue even today.  Fannie contributed by canning anything she could find and sewing their clothes from flour sacks.  She bought all of one pattern sacks until they had enough to make shirts etc.  Bud died when Bill was 7 of a goiter operation.  There is some disagreement on whether he had cancer or not.  Aunt said yes and brother said no.  I tend to agree with Aunt as Earl was only 10 years of age.  They may have shielded the kids.  Fannie was left with 4 boys under the age of 10.  She went to work in the cotton fields pulling bolls.  She often pulled her sack with a young one on the end of the sack.  She later married a man who studied to be a Baptist minister.  He had small country churches thus began the moving to a dozen different schools before Bill graduated high school.  He never lived anywhere long enoug to be a Cub Scout thus his passion for scouting today was born.  He attended one room schools all the way up to Dallas city schools.  I think this is why he was a good counselor.  He had empathy for kids in lots of situations and coming from all sizes of schools.  In high school he didn`t want to move so Fannie found a family for him to live with in Geary, Oklahoma.  He spent quite a bit of time with Grandparents in Matador.  He listed his schools as K. he had a tutor named Mrs. Coldiron so he could skip 1st grade to be with older cousin.  The list then included Amarillo, Matador, Hale Center, Hugo, Oklahoma, 2 schools in Dallas named John B. Hood and S.E. Old Cliff, Mt. Pleasant, Mesquite, Pattonville, Broken Bow, Oklahoma,  Green Hill Country outside Mt. Pleasant, Matador,  Mt. Pleasant, and Geary Oklahoma.  Some years he attended 3 different schools in a school year.  Other years he returned to a school he had been in before.  They moved one year because the school tried to get them signed up for free lunches and Fannie thought they were trying to take her boys.  He sometimes went to school barefooted to save shoes for cold weather,  but then others did the same thing

One reason he wanted to stay in Geary was because of sports.  He participated in all sports but basketball was his love-playing in the Big House in 1963 where he promptly fouled out.  He was competing with teammates that were nearly a foot taller than he.  He often walked miles home from ball practice.  He always felt bad because his parents never saw him play a game.  They had to save their money for pop and other things.  He would take an odd job to buy athletic shoes but when typing had a lab fee he just didn`t take it.  A decesion he later regretted when college papers were graded down because they were handwritten in neat print or he hunt and pecked his way thru his years as counselor at the high school.  He could type nearly as fast as I with my 2 years of typing.    His coach Keith Covey and Grandparents Davis helped him go to Northwestern.  He went a couple years but the oil fields of west Texas lured him away.  The money was good but work was 7 days a week.  For entertainment he played summer baseball.  One semester out and he was back at Northwestern.  He was a math major and a job offer in the business world was forthcoming.  He turned it down for his love of education.  The only semester he had financial aid was the semester he bought my engagement ring.  We married in 1967 and he graduated in 1968.  He immediately enrolled in graduate school for the summer.  In the fall found us in Lebanon, Nebraska teaching in a tiny town of about 300.  All 3 of the elementary teachers were not college graduates.  They had taught for years but never finished their degree because they lacked student teaching.  They made 1/2 the salary of a degreed teacher.  We spent 2 years there going back to Alva in summers for school.  He taught math and coached basketball and helped with football.  One year he taught Chemistry and set the lab on fire.  He played town league basketball in a larger town.  At the end of 2 years we decided to move and found a job a little south of Lebanon in Lenora,Kansas.  We moved our furniture there and went to Alva for the summer.  During the summer Keith Covey recruited him for a job in Stroud.  Marty and we took a farm truck up and got our furniture.  In 1970 we started our tenure in Stroud.  We continued to go to Alva summers and he got his Masters in 1972.  One summer in 1973 we lived in Weatherford for him to complete his math degree.

Goodbye Dorothy

We traveled to Enid today to bury my Dad`s sister, Dorothy.  She never had children so her brother Ernie, sister Ramonda, and about 15 others mostly neices and nephews gathered at a funeral home for a short service.  Sister Margaret age 95 being in ill health sadly was not able to attend.  Then off to pretty Bison cementery for burial.  It is about 2-3 miles from the Balk homestead.  We stopped at the original house built in about 1906 where nobody now lives so is too quickly running down.  The original woodsiding is in places peeking out from behind layers of more modern coverings.  It still bears the original yellow paint and is in remarkable condition.  Beadboard covers front porch ceiling.

Eleven people lived there in 2 small bedrooms, kitchen, large room across front divided by sliding doors, and full not totally finished attic where the kids slept.  Our next adventure is trying to visit inside the house to look for pictures and papers reportedly hid in a bedroom wall when Grandma feared Joseph might be deported at the beginning of WWII like Peter was in WWI.  I did bring home a very old brick from a collapsed chimney.

The question came up why they settled there.  An older cousin related the men traveled by train that ran within a mile of where the house stands.  All related men jumped off and ran to stake claims and that is where they landed.  Joseph Balk, a teenager, was one of them and his future in-laws settled across the road.

There are only 2 aunts and 1 uncle left.  I mentioned we were running out of older people to gather for.  Karen brought up the sobering fact-we are moving into the older group.

We finished the morning at Golden Corral toasting Dorothy`s 85 years with fudge-a secret  treat of her youth.

Family Secrets

There seemed to be alot of secrets in the Balk family.  The biggest secret on the Phillips side.  I had an aunt who after attending school at Alva Normal School and obtaining her teacher`s certificate was back at home at about age 23 teaching in a one room school.  Mother was only 3 so couldn`t remember but an older brother, age 11 who was probably in her class, related she came home sick from school one day and went upstairs.  Grandma Phillips went up to check on her and came running down the stairs yelling "Lillie had a baby!"  No one suspected!  She married the father 9 days later and had 4 more children.  The last was a mentally retarded girl.  The first child , a girl named Irene, died at about age 8 after eating an apple treated with insecticide.  Her funeral was the top of the line including several limos with all family members assigned to a certain numbered limo.  My cousins told me recently that little girl was never quite right but Mother never told me that but then she maybe didn`t realize it being only about 11 at her death.  She did say the family always doted on her.  I think the whole family lived with Mother`s family out on the farm for a number of years.  I know Irene`s crib was still out at the farm when Jeff and Lori had children because I think she used it for some of  them.  I seemed to remember a written tale of Lillie and family and her 2 or 3 children moved to Freedom at a later time.

We`ll blame the wild side on the husband`s side of the family.  His great neice, a girl about my age, repeated the act by concealing her pregnancy until the 9th month.  I remember her cheerleading skirt was huge for a formerly thin girl.  She went to the City to marry the boy and had the baby before the 3 day waiting period on the marriage license was up.

A couple of thoughts-was it a shotgun wedding?  I can`t imagine Grandpa Phillips doing that.  He was a very kind man.  Also this happened in September did she lose her job?  Who knows! 

My Balk Aunts

Daddy had 5 sisters Mary Evelyn Stokes, Margaret Ann Rogers, Loretta Agnes Weber, Dorothy Louise Maggert, and Ramonda Rose Laughlin.  He always said he had 5 bosses that tried to help rear him.

Evelyn married a man names Otis Caughts(not sure of the spelling Daddy pronounced it Cox) who served in WWI at age 14.  He seemed to be in some sort of illegal dealings.  Mysteriously worked at night and came home with blisters from walking-all over his feet.  He served time in Leavenworth but not sure if it were in the Federal Prison or the Military Prison.  When he came home he changed his name to Homer Stokes and seemed to straighten up.  I believe at the time they were married with a son so they would have had to change their names also.  Evelyn and son Delbert lived with Grandma Balk during his incarceration.  She retired from Tinker Air Force Base.

Margaret was the kindest aunt.  She had kids close to our age so I spent time in her home in Enid.  She was patient with husband Frank that seemed to suffer from a very mild form of post traumatic stress syndrome from WWII.  They owned and operated a service station.  She celebrated her 95th birthday February 28,2008.  They reared 2 great kids.  She tirelessly help care for Grandma Balk in her last years so she wouldn`t have to go to a nursing home.  She is a bit stubborn-will not sell her house in Enid but divides her time in Oklahoma City with daughter and Forney, Texas where son lives.  Mother tried to get her to move into assisted living with her.  Her reply it`s great for Juanita but not me.

Loretta lived near Sharon in her adult life.  She was engaged in her early adulthood.  Her engagement was broken and my 1st Communion veil was made from her 1st veil.  She moved to Woodward to be housekeeper for the priests.  They fixed her up with a bachelor parishoner, Herman Weber, several years her senior.  Daddy gave her away because Grandpa was not living.  She felt she wouldn`t have many children starting at age 30 but she had 8.  Many achieved college graduation with Medical Dr, Nursing, CPA degrees to their credit.  I was always amazed at the amount of food she had to prepare for a meal.  Herman did all the grocery shopping and bought cases of things.  They lived on a pig farm near Sharon and built onto the original smallish house with a bedroom large enough for 6 beds, 6 dressers, and 6 closets to accommodate 6 daughters.  Herman at one time cut his arm off above the elbow in a farm accident.  Loretta didn`t drive because of narcolepsy(caused from a childhood accident) so she had to get someone to drive him to the hospital.  This was probably in the early 1960`s.  They were able to reattach the arm with little or no loss of use.  I remember the family as a whole being quiet,reserved.  Politics and the glories of the Mooreland Hospital were the only things she was vocal about.  She was Republican, Daddy Democrat.  She used the Mooreland Hospital and the folks did not.

Dorothy, dear Dorothy, she was a bit younger than Daddy, worked for a bank, was engaged for 16 years to Ray Maggert. Ray was the other family member Mother didn`t like.  They finally married when Grandma couldn`t cook and do laundry for him.  She didn`t drive either because of a fender bender when she was learning to drive.  Her brothers made fun of her and she never got behind the wheel again.  They never had children, raised dogs instead.  He died a few years ago and she lives in an Enid Nursing Home.  She is the one who told me Great Grandpa Peter Balk was deported during WWI.

Ramonda was and still is a pretty lady with dark eyes and hair.  She married a man named WENDELL DAVIS young and moved to Florida.  She came home on a bus with a 6 week old son named Richard.  They lived with Grandma and she went to work.  A bit later she married Jack Laughlin who adopted Richard.  They never told him he was adopted and when he found out as a young adult he took off and they didn`t always know where he was.  I guess he has sporadic contact with them now.  She had 2 more sons.  She worked as a manager for Braums for years.  The funniest thing that happened in recent years was while she was caring for Jack in Enid during his final illness something snapped, she left and the Highway Patrol found her in a ditch up near Kansas City out of gas and somewhat dazed.  She continues to live in Enid after Jack`s death.

This is nearly the end of my stories.  I have one to relate that is probably the most amazing tale.  Mother never knew the truth on it.  I found out from a cousin only recently.  That one is to come next time.

My In Between Aunts on the Phillips Side

My other aunts on the Phillips side were Lillian Ann Ferguson and Mattie Clyde Harman, Russell, Hebinck.  Mother was closest to Mattie because she lived with her while she attended high school.  Mattie was born prematurely, a cup fit over her head and she slept in a shoebox on the oven door.  Grandma tried breast milk and cow`s milk with no results.  Finally she tried sugar and coffee and she began to thrive.  She was a kind lady that was widowed with 3 baby boys-the oldest maybe 7 when 1st husband Delbert Harman died.  Notice the 'man' on Harman Mother always stressed 'man'.  Delbert made Mother the curio shelf with the elaborate cutouts that I have in my bedroom.  Her siblings helped out during the summers.  Milton and Delsa moved in with her early in their marriage to help with the boys and help with the bills.  Mattie worked and retired from a couthouse job.  All of the boys grew up to be upstanding citizens.  She remarried when the boys were all grown to a jolly man named Floyd Russell.  They were married several years before he died.  Mattie told Mother she dreaded the awful lonliness.  Awhile later she married Bernard Hebinck.  He was not a good soul.  Mostly seemed to be after a free lunch.  He is one of only 2 in the  family Mother did not like.  They drove new cars between dealerships.  They were in a small plane crash coming home from one of these trips.  She was killed.  He went home to her house thinking he had a home free and clear.  Surprise she had put the house in her boys` names years before.

Lillian Ann Ferguson lived in Freedom.  Even tho we knew she and her family were family we weren`t close.  I guess possibly because of the age difference.  She was nearly 20 years older than Mother.  Mother said her family thought they were better than us.  I think the old home had some bad memories for her.  Who knows!  I had 2 of her granddaughters as good friends.

Daddy`s sisters`s stories come next time.

 

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Talk About Home Alone

I am inserting one of Dad`s family stories out of order because I found it so interesting.  We visited his Aunt Jean Short Allin in Florida this week.  She told stories almost the entire 48 hours we were there.  Hopefully she will write a book as she has always intended.

I will paraphase here her written copy.  Her and Granny Fannie`s dad, Ira Lee Short at age 6, while living in Missouri lost his mother 4 days after she gave birth to a son.  There was also a 4 year old sister named Sadie.  There were no near neighbors so his father fixed a sugar teat for the baby and warned the other 2 to be brave, take care of each other, keep the fire going to discourage wild animals from scenting dead mother in the bed, and left on horseback to telegraph his mother in Texas of the death.  Ira posed in the doorway with a loaded gun against his shoulder on the lookout for panthers, bears, etc. while Sadie fetched water and more wood from outside.  The trip took 2 or 3 days but seemed like forever to the kids.  He brought back help from town to bury the Ma.  It was cold and difficult to dig a deep grave.  Ira and Sadie piled rocks on the somewhat shallow grave.

Grandma arrived by train when she could get there and they all moved back with her and she helped rear the children until her death 5 years later.  The dad did not remarry until the children were grown.

I will relate more stories later.

My In Between Uncles

My other uncles on Mother`s side were Marlin Dewey Phillips and Garland Roy Phillips.  I knew Garland the least.  He tried to farm out by Freedom in his earlier adult years.  He couldn`t make a go of it, pulled up and moved to Washington state.  There he farmed a truck farm.  I remember visiting there at about age 6 and seeing irrigation ditches, foreign to me, and the cannery where he sold his vegetables.  Garland suffered from a mild form of epilepsy.

Marlin went to OU in the late 1920`s.  He was short, maybe 5' 8", but played football there.  I researched those years.  They didn`t have  very successful seasons about that time.  I remember people referring to him as Uncle Stub.  He was a pharmacist and set up a drugstore in Mooreland until his first wife died of diptheria leaving him with an infant son, Martin George.  He moved to California and lived there until Martin George at age 5 died after a tonsillectomy.  He had always promised his son he could visit Grandma Phillips on the farm.  When Marlin brought him home to bury next to his mother he took him to the farm to lie in state.  It was so cold the flowers around the casket froze in the unheated room.  Marlin returned to California, eventually married again, and had a daughter Marlene who was an artist.  The flower painting (supposedly done by a new technique Marlene developed) in my blue bedroom is her work.  She married beneath her according to her parents and had several children.  Marlin was the one who gave the old pictures of the great grandparents to me when they divided up things of Grandma Phillips.  Told me an old fashioned gift to go with an old fashioned husband of my future.

The other uncle on Dad`s side was Leo Joseph Balk or Joseph Leo we`re not sure which is first name.  He was a school teacher but developed a brain tumor that took his life at an early age.  He had 2 sons and a daughter.  The girl died young.  My dad always thought it from a botched abortion.  One son was mentally retarded and lived out his life in a nursing home in Enid.  The other son I never knew but grew to adulthood and had a family.

The Youngest on Either Side

The youngest uncles on either side are Ernest Raymond Balk and Milton Harley Phillips.  Ernie was in school when his Dad died of a massive heart attack.  He helped Grandma Balk farm until he left for the Navy after graduation.  He met his wife while traveling across country with his mother and she with her mother in another car.  They flirted by notes until they both stopped.  They were married in a big Catholic wedding.  When their 3 children were teens they joined the Church of Latter Day Saints, now they are of no denomination.  They lived in California most of his adult life and had a top secret job with the government.  We didn`t see alot of them. 

Milton was 8 years older than Mother but their children and the folk`s children were close in age so we spent the most time with them.  He married a dear lady named Delsa, had 3 daughters, and worked for Tinker Air Force Base.  Altho Delsa was a staunch Baptist she observed the Catholic tradition of meatless Fridays by serving salmon when we visited on Friday.  I remember the time I attended Sunday School with them.  The teacher was taken aback when I told her I was Catholic.  Like it was the shock of the day.  Milton battled alcoholism but we didn`t suspect until his parents both died.  It was a well kept secret.  Grandpa was a strict teetotaler.

The Eldest

My eldest aunt and uncle on either side were Meddie May Phillips Howerton Shipley and Lloyd Peter Balk.  Meddie was 21 years older than Mother.  Grandma couldn`t go to their wedding because she was due with Mother any day.  She was always such a youthful looking lady up into her 80`s.  She was a firm believer in Merle Norman cosmetics and sold them for years.  She was married twice 1st to Charley Howerton of the area in Arkansas the Phillips were from and had 2 sons.  They homesteaded in Wyoming early 1920`s.  He died there of a massive heart attack.  It was quite sometime later she married Frank Shipley.  He was a friendly guy.  We lived with them for a time when we first moved to Wyoming.

Lloyd left home young and lived away most of his adult life.  He served time in Big Mac for helping 2 other men rob a service station probably during the Depression.  The other 2 let him take the rap and he was the only one to serve time.  I remember him as a prodgical son who only returned  periodically.  His 5 sisters cleaned him up, filled his prescriptions, and he was off again.  He kept up with family happenings.  The $2 bill in my shadow box was a gift when I was born.  He walked the Florida beaches early in the mornings to collect shells as gifts for family members.  The shells from Mother`s apartment were some of those.  He was legally married 3 times, lived to be 100 but left no children.  Nephews went to Florida to move him to Guthrie when people kept stealing his SS checks.  He was not pleased with the move( they wouldn`t let him keep his junk at the apartment they found him) but made friends.  During one of Guthrie`s many floods Karen saw him on TV news hanging onto a barbed wire fence to keep from washing away.  He always thought of himself as a ladies man.  He could see or hear very little in his last days but enjoyed his beer and the company of a 30 something mentally handicapped girl that looked after him.

Christmas 2007

Even tho the weather wasn`t great and I was a little under the weather Christmas is always a good time to see family and their differences in life styles.  Makes me proud to see that my kids all picked perfect mates and seem to be well adjusted.  Those grandkids are precious and growing up so fast.  Time, gifts, cards, calls are all so appreciated.  My favorite memories were attending Mass as a family and watching the little ones admire and play with my ornament collection.

Dad`s and I`s first Christmas in a little basement apartment in Alva was a special time.  He showered me with several things-mostly clothes that included a pair of red penny loafers and a red and blue pants suit.  I worked at T.G.andY until late on Christmas Eve and we headed to Mooreland for dinner and the night.  I probably had to work on Dec. 26.  As I recall I worked that season with something similar to what I got this year.  The customers were offering me cough drops.

The Christmas before we married Dad shopped for Becky make-up mirror, Mike toy gun (he and his room mates had a ball with that before he wrapped it), and the folks set of hostess dishes and spent it in Mooreland with us.  Seems like he caught a ride with someone after the last basketball practice.

My childhood Christmases were a little one sided.  Christmas Eve Santa left toys on the porch and rang the doorbell and we spent every Christmas Day with Grandma Balk in Enid.  As I look back she always attended Mass on that day by herself.  Everyone had gone at another time.  Adults were served first in the living room and the kids begged for whatever on the backporch.  She bought every person a gift even tho everyone else drew names.  I guess it was probably about 40 people.  In later years I often wondered what Grandma Phillips did for the day.  I`m sure she never complained but was a bit lonesome her children were in California, Washington state and Wyoming.