My Mother Juanita Balk

Mother (Karen and I were always required to use Mother rather than Mom) Juanita Lucille Phillips was born May 12, 1920 in their farm home 12 miles south of Freedom, Oklahoma. She was a late life blessing of Martin Granville Phillips Jr. and Effie May Webb Phillips. Her nearest sibling Milton Harley was 8 years older. Most of the other 5 siblings were already or nearly grown. Her neices and nephews were her age. She as child worried about her "elderly" parents dying. She attended Golden Belt School thru the eighth. It was a one room school about 3 miles from her home. She was often the only one in her grade. She related a story of a very early "hot school lunch program". It consisted of the teacher making alternately cocoa and vegetable soup daily to serve with whatever students carried in lunch pails. The students brought vegetables to go in the soup. Since she was reared basically as an only child she had the privilege of riding a horse to school. Other families with several children didn`t have that luxury. The families didn`t have Christmas trees in their homes. Their tree was at the school. Parents provided a gift for their children. She told once at about age 6 or 8 of going to the party and seeing the most beautiful doll on the tree. She wished all evening it would be hers. Lo and behold she took it home. She told of her mother making part of the morning biscuit dough into a cinnamon roll for her lunch. Was she a bit spoiled? Maybe but didn`t seem to be-was kind and generous to her peers. More recently she told the story of traveling by train from Waynoka to Arkansas to see relatives and got to eat at the Harvey House restaurant.
More next time.

Two Sides of Bernard

I remember two sides of Daddy. One of my favorite memories of Daddy was around their wedding anniversary June 10 when he returned from a horseback ride to the north pasture he would bring Mother a huge bouquet of handpicked wild flowers. Cowboy roses were his favorite. He continued to order azaleas around this time when he was no longer able to ride horses. Another memory is when he shipped cattle to Kansas City by train from Waynoka he would either ride with his cows or in the caboose. One time when I was about 10 we picked him up on the return trip he brought me the little German dolls that are in my shadow box.
I thought long and hard on including this memory. But maybe some descendant will show signs of it, since it seems to be hereditary, and won`t be afraid to seek medical help as some of the recent generation have. It`s what is quietly referred to by family members as the Balk Curse. Several in the family have acknowledged they suffer from it. It`s an emotional form of mental illness. In Daddy it showed itself more after middle age. The symtoms were suspicion and often imagined wrongs done by others. Sometimes he wasn`t fun to live with but with Mother`s patience he and we were able to cope.
We said goodbye to Daddy May 27,2000 after he had lived 26 years as a paraplegic. Even tho we had a hard time understanding his speech in his last hours, he made it known he wanted to kiss us his usual not 0ne kiss but Two kisses.
May I close with a tribute written by Daddy`s Greatnephew 7 years after his death.
"I remember many times my dad (one of three nephews left fatherless at an early age) speaking of his having spent summers when an older child and teenager living and working with your parents, farming.
Your father was a good and a great man, there is little question that these many months and years of direct influence on my father molded him into the above reproach reputation of which he lived. Especially the results of the terrible moment that re-defined Bernard`s life, the short fall of which left him forevermore crippled. As you know-know far more than me, your father was a mighty man, a man`s man. Many looking at the changes in their lives would have opted to end it, many would have subscribed to a never ending pity party. Bernard Balk sat back and took study of what his life was to be and in the very most genuine character of the mighty man he was, he took it with a smile and lived his remaining days with his head held high.
The courage and determination in our clan of peoples, in so many instances, is purely remarkable."
Canter Mark A. Harman
Bristow, OKlahoma
Are there any questions?

More Tales of Bernard

Daddy was a practical joker. He would show off for our slumber party guests by swallowing raw eggs. Once for a Halloween party in the community he cut bars of soap in tiny cubes and dipped them in chocolate. The game was to see who could eat their chocolate first. At the same party he dressed as a mummy. He had on briefs and Tshirt and totally wrapped himself in toilet paper. Mother didn`t dress up she spent the evening reinforcing his toilet paper. On the other hand he was shy when dates came to pick us up, he suddenly had to go to the bathroom just before they came and didn`t come out until we were gone.
During the Great Depression he told stories of riding in train boxcars. One trip took him to Missouri to find a wife. He headed straight home when he found out the girls washed the potatoes in the same pan as they did their feet. Another trip the train stopped for the night. It was pitch black and he thought of jumping out but decided against it. The next morning when he looked out he would have jumped into the Arkansas River. Being a nonswimmer he would have drowned or died of fright.
His family had trouble feeding their brood during the thirties even tho they were farmers. Mother laughingly said they sold their eggs to buy coffee. Their farmhouse built by Joseph is still standing but I think he was either a procrastinator or didn`t have money to finish the upstairs well. In the winter snow would settle on the kids beds upstairs.
His dream-in the early years it was to make enough crop in the strange soil of the Freedom farm to feed and care for his family. In later years it was to accumulate enough property to make a living for he and his 2 sons. His fears were of the dark and water. His mother used to tell them there were alligators under the bed to keep them in bed. When he was grown and farmed land over by Douglas by himself he had to go to bed before dark because of this fear. The fear of water was probably something similar.
More next time.

Bernard-Proud Farmer-Little Known Facts Of

Daddy`s occupation was farming and ranching. It was in his blood. He found this out when he went to make a fortune in the gas industry in Wyoming. The wages were good but he found the work boring because his job was in a plant watching gauges not in the great outdoors. He liked to sleep late but once up he might work until midnight. I`m sure the milk cows were not fond of his somewhat erratic schedule. He was never one to hang around the house. He was exempt from serving in WWI because his job was to help feed the troops and people at home.
He was difficult to get to go anywhere, once there he had such a good time he didn`t want to leave. He was late to everything. He insisted on eating in a good restaurant and was particular about his coffee. It had to be just so and at home in his favorite green mug. He left the kid`s discipline to Mother and since he was hard of hearing our noise didn`t bother him. He was a stubborn, hardworking, shy man. He had his cousin ask Mother if she would go out with him. I think she proposed marriage so they could take over her family farm. His Catholic faith and respect for women were unshakable. He liked western music and would often break out in song."Oklahoma Hills" and "Mockingbird Hill" were favorites when he was happy. He could also yoodle a decent tune.
more next time.

My Daddy-Bernard Simon Balk

Bernard Simon Balk (he hated those initials) was born March 18,1916 in Garfield county Oklahoma. His mother Mildred Grace Rudd made the Run into Oklahoma from Nebraska. She was about 5 years of age and remembered walking alot of the way behind a covered wagon. His father Joseph Peter Balk immigrated to America at age 11 from Bavaria, Germany also made the Run with his father Peter Balk.( There are 2 stories about what happened to Peter-one according to an aunt, he couldn`t get his citizenship during WWI and was deported which is likely and one he went back to Germany to check on property which is unlikely. There wasn`t much money in the Balk home for travel. Dad believed the later one. We do know he was hit by a stray bullet and died wearing several layers of clothing and carrying all his papers.)
Daddy felt the sting of prejudice in his early life when an older sister went to OSU but couldn`t get a teaching job because of her Catholic faith. His family was not without prejudice-they disliked what he called Bohemians and blacks. (Chris don`t feel bad about that last statement. I rebeled and do not carry that particular prejudice). I think he feared he was part black. He had black curly hair and dark complexion. His Aunt Ruth had alot of black characteristics and her son looked just like Daddy.
Education was important to his family attending elementary school in Bison. All 9 siblings graduated H.S. except Lloyd the oldest. He was a rebel and ran off with a circus when he was a teen. Daddy attended public school and when the term was over he attended the local Catholic school for a few weeks as their term ran longer. He preferred Catholic school. He walked 2-3 miles to H.S. in Waukomis. His sisters boarded in town but for some unknown reason he walked. He played basketball and made good grades. He liked to tell the tale of once when Coach took him out of a game he just proceeded to the stands for the remainder of the game. Coach couldn`t find him to put back in.
This is getting long so tune in another day for the rest of the story.